Make your own free website on Tripod.com
DOCTOR WHO FAN TYPES

    by Various Authors


  • 1) The Raving Maniac - The fan has seen all the episodes, read all the rejected scripts, has every last second of existing Doctor Who down to the smallest Highlanders clip, spends hours every day watching the camera edit of "Vampires From Space", he has all the target novels organized by number, all the NAs, and MAs and has read most of them, every morning they awaken in their Tom Baker clothes, kiss their life sized wall poster of Roger Delgado and smile for their total devotion to Doctor Who and his rewards and blessing most recently witnessed with the JVR footage

  • 2) That Brainless Guy\Gal - at home they would sit stuffing their faces with crisps. twiglets, and anything edible as they guzzled cheap soda-pop and would occassionally click by and find Doctor Who on BBC, ABC, or PBS. They would laugh at the rubber monsters, smile, and then fall asleep with sugar in their blood.

  • 3) The "No I'm Normal Really!!!" Fan - this fan tries to seem normal, and safe, and not like the psychotic freak they are. They may be bank managers, insurance agents, or hold any regular office job. At night they retire to their guilty pleasure of watching Pyraminds of Mars and reading The Also People. These fans have houses that aren't spotted with miscellanous science fiction paraphernalia and entering their livingrooms you'd think they had no clue who Gerry Anderson is. These fans are deadly and dangerous, it's only a few more years till they dress up in some nightmare outfit from A Clockwork Orange or Judge Dredd and start wildly attacking co-workers with model bazookiods after years of playing the straight line.

  • 4) The "Invisible" fan - This is the guy or gal who everyone over looks, they wear cheap tacky dark clothing that makes them magically disappear into the background, they never add to conversations and one quickly forgets they even exist. No one ever goes to their homes but if they did they would find an unsettling display of full sized props, models, large wall posters, thousands of dollars worth of Dapol Daleks, Svens Models, Action Figures, original Action Man Dolls, and books signed by Terrance Dicks, Dave Stone, Douglas Adams, David McIntee, and oddly Santa Claus but they don't want to talk about that, they never want to explain anything. This person MIGHT freak out like the "normal" fan but it's unlikely and they would probably stop their rampage and apologised if you asked them too.

  • 5) The "Bored" Fans - these fans live in some hideous place like Wyoming or Scunthorpe. There is no hope of meeting other fans, everyone look at you bizarrely when you try to read copies of Mission Impractical in public or when you are caught watching The Robots of Death on tape. It seems hard to get what you do want and even though you've seen perhaps half the stories you can't find the others and no one will help you get them. Eventually you think of moving somewhere exciting but you don't. PLEASE HELP THESE PEOPLE!!

  • 6) The "Colin baker" fans - you may like any or all of the Doctors but you are also a big Colin baker fan. Other fans mock you and suspect you wear tacky coats and kitty pens in private. No one understands you love of The Trial of a Time Lord and almost all of Season 22, slowly you try to show that Peri was a good companion with the 6th Doctor but no one believes you, everyday you feel persecuted by other people.

  • 7) The "Slyvester McCoy" Maniacs - Some people like Slyvester McCoy, some people are fans, but then there are those who are the Maniacs a special breed of fan. All the Doctors were leading up to him, they spend $200 for the question mark umbrella, they have a bizarre dream of him with live ferrets in his pants, they have pictures of him adorning their walls, and closets, and floors, and ceilings, long letters somewhere between fan and love letters are sent frequently poems in his honor are written, t-shirts with quotes from him printed, at the convention breakfasts he is definitely not safe with them hovering around waiting for his word to drink the kool-aid or his blessing so they may live.

  • 8) The "Tom Baker" Maniacs - These people are uniquely deranged as their theories and views of the show are immune to reality. Tom Baker was the first Doctor they ever saw, they believed he WAS the Doctor, when he regenerated they screamed in terror, when they discovered other people had played the Doctor before him they were shocked and just resigned themselves to the "The Doctor is Tom Baker, and some other people have played him as well" They talk only of his adventures and everything Tom baker says is the last word on the truth. These are the people who wrote the BBC and complain the Tom Baker Years tape just wasn't long enough. They consider the 4th Doctor Prime Computer and new Zealand Telephone commericals canon OVER any non-Tom Baker story. They wear scarves, have the sonic screw driver, and firmly believe The Power of Kroll is underrated.

  • 9) The Troughton Supporters - these fans have all the existing Troughton stories and loved them, Troughton is there favorite Doctor and other fans ask them how this is possible when all of his stuff is gone. Troughton Supporters shake their heads and people won't take the audios and telesnap reconstructions as evidence as they watch and pay daily homage to Graham Strong and David Hollman.

  • 10) The Pertwee Fanatics - They love the gadgets and actions, and when people talk trash about Pertwee they get tell them to shut up, punch them in the face with some venusian akido and rush home to watch The Daemons with Roger Delgado. Their motto "Bad CSO?? It's nothing."

  • 11) The Hartnell Fans - No one cares about them, so ultimately the safest fans, they watch the original stories, have a few audios, a few telesnaps, they've read the Plotters and Venusian Lullaby, maybe a few more, over all their fandom is harmless except for finding themselves urgung to say "My Boy", "Hmm", and they can't keep a sentence straight.

  • 12) Davison Fanatics - These are largely non-exisent, no study can yet be done, preliminary data suggests they eat celery to avoid gases from the Praxis range.
    modified from the types origionaly By Charles Daniels


    Further research has discovered further subgroups:


  • 13) The Undergraduate. Generally a maths student in steel-framed glasses, he occasionally has a girlfriend and he also watches Star Trek. Usually called Nick, Dave or Chris. Is rather quiet at parties. Will spend hours on end in disturbingly intense discussions of obscure children's television programmes.

  • 14) The Old-Timer. Was a founder member of DWAS in the seventies, knew all the authors before they were famous and occasionally phones up John Scott-Martin for a chat. Once almost fell in love with a companion. Has spent a truly staggering amount of money on Doctor Who, not to mention a significant proportion of his waking life. Now claims that Doctor Who is a bit stupid really and that he's only still in fandom because of all his friends there, so it's a mystery why he keeps hanging around the newsgroups...

  • 15) The female fan. A very rare species. She probably didn't believe the rather disturbing rumours about Doctor Who fans until she found out for herself. Going to her first convention was an extremely bizarre experience.

  • 16) Bookie: Someone who's collected every Doctor Who book.
    By Finn Clark.

    Curiously, a few additional (possibly spurious) fan types have been identified.

  • 17) The combo fan. A strange mixture of the more normal types (2,3,4,5 (except it was one of the Timewyrm books at Microsoft's major site in Blighty),9,10,11 and 13). May spend hours and hours per week (or even day) trying to create digital representations of a cyberman finger on his/her home computer with the hope of eventually creating the whole thing. tends to look asleep at any time between 7AM and 11PM.

  • 18) The Alternative fan. A drastically enthusiastic fan of Doctor Who in every media it hasn't been done in yet. Apparently good-natured from a distance, this fan becomes fervently involved in any project surrounding his/her favourite (non-existant) episodes. Has a tendecy to revert to claiming his/her self to be a sentient form of plant life.

  • 19) The underpaid fan: Whilst many fans generally presume this to be their type, the truly underpaid fan works slavishly to increase the enjoyability of Doctor Who. They may write up scripts for free distribution, or produce plays of lost/un-produced but approved material. They may even have original works published by the BBC as ongoing Who (although the term "original" here may be under some duress on occasion). May occasionally be attacked by other fans in an attempt to show that this type earns even less than their wage packets suggest. The species may be on the decline. With luck their demise will show other fans what they were missing all along, albiet a tad too late to change the situation.

  • 20) The "untrue" fan. Decries any statement, whether good or bad, about Doctor Who made by any fan of another type. Heatedly debates the topic if responded to, and proves their point of view with a string of statements which often verge sufficiently close to the truth to allow the less hardy fan of another type to waver. May occasionally be found rifling through books at the store looking for "facts" to denounce. Generally inhabits the darker regions of the Internet although may be seen produly strutting about at fan club meetings.
    By Cliff Bowman