THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ON THE TARDIS|
by Siobahn Morgan (with apologies
to Clement Moore)
'Twas the night before christmas, when all through the continuum,
Not a chronovore was stirring, for time ad infinituum.
The brolly was hung at the console with care,
In hopes that Rassilon's blessings soon would be there.
Ace was tucked all snug in her bed
As visions of glycerine danced through her head,
And the Doctor in his study, purusing through his journal
Had just settled in for a time seemingly eternal.
When from the console room there arose such a racket
That Ace jumping up so quickly, nearly forgot her jacket.
Away to the control room they ran like a flash,
Turning the corner in a mad Charlie Chaplin dash.
The gleam from the central column was clear and bright,
So that the intruders were easily in sight.
When what in the console room their eyes did behold,
But a collection of enemies, some new and some old.
The glint of metal on the casing was a recognizable hue,
That they knew in an instant who was leading the dangerous crew.
Davros' voice grew louder above the din,
As he called on the other villians to come within:
"On Cybermen, on Yeti, on Zarbi, and Sontarons,
On Zygons, on Mandrells, on Fenric and Autons,
To the home of the Doc-tor, down that dark hall,
Now EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE all!"
Such a horrible sight to their eyes did meet,
That the Doctor and Ace beat a hasty retreat.
And to the workshop with all haste they flew,
As the Doctor hopefully would think of something to do.
The monsters just laughed and increased their attack,
As Ace ran on to get her Nitro-9 ladden back pack.
The Doctor took in his plight and looked around,
And Ace set up barricades to hold steady their ground.
Then the evil creatures, with Davros in tow,
Neared the workshop to try and defeat their hated foe.
"One Moment!" cried the Doctor, "Just one moment please!"
To which Fenric replied "Doctor, on your knees!"
"But don't you see", continued the Doctor, "This is all wrong"
To which the Sontarons answered "Yes, Doctor, but not for long"
"I surrender! I surrender!" the Doctor cried most addament,
To which the Cyberleader replied in his deep voice "Excellent"
As they scoffed at his words, and surrounded their prey,
The villians savored his doom and their victory that day.
"We'll waste no time," Davros said, "But we'll destroy you with glee
And then we'll destroy your home world, the hated Gallifrey!"
The Doctor was anxious and worried about his fate,
Hoping the cavalry would arrive soon, and not a minute too late.
"For you, Davros, the victory will be quite sour
For you have sealed your own doom within the hour!
For Cybermen I have many gold bombs laid out in traps
And for you others, various things to keep you under wraps
And if that is not enough to destroy your little coup
I can just bring in some executives from the dread BBC too.
They are more fierce then the greatest evil mind,
For they can instantly cancel you and all of your kind."
Then he sprang to his feet with a curious look on his face
And, playing some spoons, disappeared from the place.
With cans of Nitro, Ace blasted the aliens from sight,
"Oi! Happy Christmas to all, and to all a wicked night!"
Based (loosely) on "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore